Dear Diary,
Somebody asked me if I ever had da "Wonderlust"....you know, like a gypsy???........me? (well lust I have.....for my darlink')
or is it wanderlust??????.................yeah I sure do, if I had my way, I would live in West Africa...........let me tell you a story.
Wanderlust? oy vey!....do I ever have this........... Eaden is very special...true...has his faults, like not being a really good dad, never enough time for that, but hell who is perfect? I only have to look in the mirror and then I can see a typical example of "imperfect" tra la la.....he is really nice.....funny one should think so after soooooo many years. 28 this year!!
I nearly lost him once........ Story? He came home
one Friday night, complaining that his right leg was very..numb...in fact
he was dragging it as he walked in. I got such a fright, and wanted to
call a doctor....also thinking he had had cramp in the same leg a few weeks
back, I offered to kiss it better, or put a bandage on it...(crêpe)....naaaaaah,
says he, very manly. So........dragging this same leg around, the entire
weekend, (of course he worked all weekend, finishing off a jetty for someone),
by Monday morning 5 am.....I could not sleep, I phoned our doctor.... who
screamed at me.........get the stupid arsehole here IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!NOW.........
I relayed the message, to "grumpy," who was shitting me out for
having telephoned so early..............kvetch! kevtch! kevtch!...they
do go on these men don't they?
Tying up her gold and black designer running shoes (true), Lady Bee, raced ahead to the doctors' room, (down the road a spell) chased by five Yorkies, and an ancient cat! The Lord of the manor, in the meantime, had gone off to-open his efffing factory. When he arrived, three hours later, the doctor and I, in the meantime, had finished off three pots of coffee, and many smokes. He, (the doc) took one look at the hairy leg, prodded it with a thingy, and phoned the hospital! By 11 am.......Lord Ha Ha was naked, shaved pubic parts, and with many nurses (of varying ages), admiring his equipment, poking at his privates and leg............they dyed his blood blue (was not really necessary) and clucked over the poor sod! It was an agonising day, as no one bothered to explain that he, Lord Ha Ha, had a clot in the leg!
Lady Bee, having changed her attire, .........was crying and moaning and wondering if his will was in order.....(a Jewish girl has to be prepared!) That night they operated on him, from 9 pm till midnight! Lady Bee, now very in her "cups," due to the fact that many of the doctors are friends of Lord Ha Ha.....and had "medicinal" bottles stashed in the hospital............ On top of which, Lord Ha Ha, could not be sedated? in the normal manner, as being a smoker, his lungs were not up to par! Whereupon, they explained, after the 'op, ' that it had been touch 'n go......(that was the most frightening thing I have ever heard!)
Phew!...now our hospitals, are also not up-to-par......so
Lady Bee was in attendance, daily, from 6 am.......on and off, bathing
her beloved, shaving him, taking out his potty?....and wondering if, due
to the fact that it was the
11th of December, they would in fact go on their planned, paid- for- holiday
to West Africa! (which was supposed to take place on the 22nd December
for three weeks). Having been banned from the hospital, on a few occasions,
due to Lady Bee's blue language............she none-the-less, managed to
get Lord Ha Ha, not only out of hospital, but onto the plane bound for
Abidjan, 
where, amidst the palms and naked bathers, he recovered.
He in fact, dragging the shaved, stitched, swollen leg, managed to play baseball with the topless nurse! He also managed to "attend" to a weepy Lady Bee, and spoil her rotten with a new gold ring. His report? "It was the best holiday of my life!" Quite a man, ne?
cute hippos hey?........me and my man..........LOL!!
