What control do we have?

One thing that happened in Atlanta I would like to bring up and see what people think. During the hypnosis workshop, the therapist gave an example of a suggestion that she could make to a client while hypnotized: "I can make the choice to pull or not pull, and I choose not to pull." A woman got angry and said she does NOT choose to pull, she has NO control over her pulling. The therapist apologized and said that when she works with clients, they come up together with the suggestions that will be used, and so they would not use a suggestion the client did not feel was appropriate or did not apply. (A woman here has been treated by her and has had great success, hardly pulled for over a year.)

Anyway, that exchange got me thinking. Whatever that woman's personal situation is, I know that if I am honest, I have to admit that I DO have some control over my pulling, and there are times when I DO make the conscious choice to pull. Maybe that first pull I (sometimes)do without thinking about it. But then I make the conscious decision to keep going. Sometimes I even deliberately go into the bathroom so I can see what I'm doing. I make that choice! Sometimes I deliberately use the tweezers. Someone on this board suggested to me that I throw them out, but I CHOOSE not to. In other cases, I make the choice to put myself into dangerous situations that make pulling likely or even a certainty. I CHOOSE to stay up even after I have started to feel tired, even though I KNOW that being tired is the most dangerous trigger. I CHOOSE to do other dangerous things, like watch TV, while I'm tried, even though I know that it's dangerous. Sometimes I pull while on the phone, and I don't end the conversation even when it's members of the support group whowould certainly understand why I need to end the call abruptly.

It would be a lot easier emotionally to believe that I have no control, but the fact is, I have control that I don't always exercise. Why is that? Why do I not always choose to do the things I need to do to keep from pulling? I think figuring out the answers to those questions is key to my beating this on a more consistent basis.

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I agree about the control. To me it is like choices that I have to make every day. Once you realize what your triggers are, it is your choice whether you will go there or not. I have a choice whether I'm going to eat sweets etc or not.... I know if I do, I will pull... so I have a choice (not easy, but I do have a choice). I know if I stand in front of the Bad Mirror..... I will see those grey hair..... so I can make the choice whether I'm going to use that bathroom or not (I can use another one easily). I know if I go to the bathroom, I can't stay long. Once I sit back and relax..... well... you know....So I know that place is a place of hurry, not of leasure. We all know trich is a pest, BUT if we make the choice before we get into the impossible situations, it makes it easier. A little change in your lifestyle, can make a big change in your pulling. Someone mentioned that she puts on her mascara in the mirror in the hall, seconds before she leaves for work - to prevent her from staring in the mirror too long every morning.

Little choices - HUGE difference in pulling.

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Xxx's  post made me realize that my post about choices may have made some people feel condemned because they made/make 'bad' choices about trich continually. This is just to confirm that I say this in the context of trichsters who have probably had some emotional healing already and have walked a road that lead them to realizing their triggers already. I know that sometimes we are not ready to stop pulling yet. There are times when we need the pulling..... I personally would not be able to stop with just sheer willpower (I think). I don't think I can do it without the diet. That is why I know that I should NOT eat sugar for instance. It is hard, but I can make that choice of not eating sugar. But the choice isn't comparible (sp?) witht he choice I have to make (if I ate sugar), to not pull. Then the choice is almost impossible and I will make the wrong choice 90% of the time.

So please don't feel condemned. You and I know that the choice to pull or not to pull isn't at all in the same class as other 'normal' choices.

THat is why I say that prevention is better than cure. It is easier to make the choice to go to the mirror or not ....... than once you're already at the mirror, to make the choice to pull or not to pull. So rather make the choice beforehand - the choice that is easier to control. Am I making sense to anybody out there?